Fly Jokes

SQUARKS

SQUAWKS are problems noted by USAF pilots and are left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.
Here are some actual complaints logged by pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

1. Test flight okay, except auto-land very rough
    Auto land not installed on this aircraft
2. DME volume unbelievably loud
   Volume set to more believable level
3. Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
   That’s what they’re there for
4. Number three engine missing
    Engine found on right wing after brief search
5. Target Radar hums
    Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words
6. Aircraft handles funny
    Aircraft warned to straighten up and be serious
7. Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
    Almost replaced left inside main tyre
8. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
    Evidence removed
9. IFF inoperative
    IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
10. Something loose in cockpit
     Something tightened in cockpit

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